Issue 49 · One poem
The List
Fear of pushing too hard, too fast — and still showing up.
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The List
m scared that I will screw up again by pushing too hard or too fast.
I scared that I'm not doing enough for her.
m frustrated by her distancing herself form me.
I don't even know what I'm looking for.
m afraid that I will be hurt again.
I never want to stop loving her.
I feel there is a chance for us.
I doubt that things will work out.
I wish that I didn't care about her so much.
I wish I could care for her like I can and want to.
I do not want to give her all I have for nothing.
I do not want to miss out on something great.
I am exactly what she needs in her life right now.
Does she need me at all?
Is it worth losing the pleasure not to try?
“I'm scared that I will screw up again by pushing too hard or too fast.”
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§Clark J. Madsen - November 11, 1995