Issue 25 · One poem
Inward Battle
Doing what is expected while the soul feels foreign.
Stuck in a cell, trapped in a corner.
Doing what's expected, feeling like a foreigner.
I do what I'm told, instead of what I like
I try to bite my tough, but my soul puts up a good fight
An inward struggle, a battle begun,
I fight for my freedom, I reach for my guns.
Surrounded by rules and swamped with restrictions,
Kicking against the pricks, questioning my convictions.
Asking what's right, who knows what's wrong.
Losing my grip on reality, I can not last very long.
Falling down on my knees, in a world wind of pride.
I look towards those who profess to be my guide.
ve fought in this battle, I'm now nearing the end.
They want me to change, but my character I still defend.
They say they
Make me a man
, but I just want to be a boy.
m not quite ready to give up playing with my toys.
I love what I teach, and it is great to share,
But then other times, I really just couldn't care.
When I look back, at what In my life I have done.
I am very grateful, that from it I did not run.
For when I look at the lives that have now touched mine.
I know I will be eternally grateful that them I did find.
The pressures is building, and I am ready to burst.
I look for a solution, but I see only the worst.
For if I go home now, so many I will let down.
But if I stay here, I will only wear a frown.
m tied between two horses and they are ripping me apart.
I need someone to come and fix my broken heart.
If I stay or I leave, there will both be hell to pay.
So I guess I will live it now, instead of saving it for another day.
“Doing what's expected, feeling like a foreigner.”
Inward Battle
§Clark J. Madsen